Working Parents - BusinessWeek

A Conversation Every Family Should Have

Cathy Arnst — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 08:02:10 -0500

We're continuing a tradition at Working Parents started last year. Asking you to take a moment this weekend to discuss your desires for how you want to live the end of your life. If you are seeing this issue come up a lot in the blogosphere this weekend, that's because more than 100 bloggers are putting up the same post, in an effort to help start "the conversation"--one of the most important you'll ever have. If you want to reproduce this post on your blog (or anywhere) you can download a ready-made html version here.

Last Thanksgiving weekend, many of us bloggers participated in the first documented blog rally to promote Engage With Grace a movement aimed at having all of us understand and communicate our end-of-life wishes.

It was a great success, with over 100 bloggers in the healthcare space and beyond participating and spreading the word. Plus, it was timed to coincide with a weekend when most of us are with the very people with whom we should be having these tough conversations--our closest friends and family.

Our original mission to get more and more people talking about their end of life wishes hasn't changed. But it's been quite a year so we thought this holiday, we'd try something different.

A bit of levity.

At the heart of Engage With Grace are five questions designed to get the conversation started. We've included them at the end of this post. They're not easy questions, but they are important.

To help ease us into these tough questions, and in the spirit of the season, we thought we'd start with five parallel questions that ARE pretty easy to answer:

Silly? Maybe. But it underscores how having a template like just five questions in plain, simple language can deflate some of the complexity, formality and even misnomers that have sometimes surrounded the end-of-life discussion. Over the past year there's been a lot of discussion around end of life. And we've been fortunate to hear a lot of the more uplifting stories, as folks have used these five questions to initiate the conversation. One man shared how surprised he was to learn that his wife's preferences were not what he expected. Befitting this holiday, The One Slide now stands sentry on their fridge.

So with that, we've included the five questions from Engage With Grace below. Think about them, document them, share them. Wishing you and yours a holiday that's fulfilling in all the right ways.

(To learn more please go to www.engagewithgrace.org. This post was written by Alexandra Drane and the Engage With Grace team. )

If you or someone you know would like to prepare an advance directive, this site contains downloadable forms for every state and Medline Plus has a section containing lots of background information on directives here.

A Fond Farewell to Working Parents Readers

Lauren Young — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 00:35:53 -0500

This is a week to give thanks-and to say goodbye.

After six years at BusinessWeek and four years as a lead writer on this blog, I will be leaving BusinessWeek on Dec. 1.

Working Parents was started by my colleagues Amy Dunkin, Anne Tergesen and Toddi Gutner, based on the conversations we had about our families-usually on Monday mornings. Since the blog's launch in January 2006, we've been successful in our mission to "lead a broad discussion of the issues and day-to-day concerns of working parents, offering up interviews with work/life experts, examinations of relevant research, and personal accounts of bouncing between separate, sometimes conflicting worlds."

Some of my favorite posts How Mac 'N Cheese is Like a Cigarette and Honoring a Wonderful Life were written by my colleague Cathy Arnst. A post I wrote on The Motherhood Penalty went viral. And I constantly refer back to an interview with Leslie Morgan Steiner, author of Mommy Wars.

I feel especially appreciative that I was able to ride the BusinessWeek train for as long as I did. I'm also thankful to McGraw-Hill, which owned BusinessWeek for the past 80 years. The corporation has a commitment to work-life issues, incredible benefits, and an impressive women's network. A flexible work schedule kept me sane during the past five years. In addition, my BusinessWeek managers and peers were especially supportive during a rough period when my son had seven surgeries. For that, I am eternally grateful.

I'd also like to thank the other bloggers out there who keep the conversation alive. Special shout-outs to Cali Williams-Yost, Marci Alboher, The Sloan Work and Family Research Network, The Families & Work Institute, The Juggle, The Motherlode and countless other thought leaders out there.

Although my time at BusinessWeek has come to a close, I'll be blogging about parenting issues and work-life topics in the future on MommyTracked. You can also find me on LinkedIn and Twitter.

Have a happy, healthy Thanksgiving.

Best Places to Raise Kids

Cathy Arnst — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:49:38 -0500

BusinessWeek is running its annual list of the best city or town for raising kids in each state in the nation. The rankings are based on a calculation using a number of criteria, such as schools, housing costs and crime rate. The overall winner? Tinley Park, Illinois:

Tinley Park, with its top-rated schools, low crime, beautiful parks, relatively affordable houses, and easy access to jobs, is the winner of BusinessWeek's Best Places in America to Raise Kids. Working with OnBoard Informatics, we chose a winner for each state, but the Chicago suburb—only an hour south of last year's winner, Mount Prospect, Ill.—scored the highest. Named after the village's first railroad master in the 1800s, Tinley Park has two train stations, which carry commuters to Chicago in 45 minutes. Single-family homes for sale in Tinley Park start at $166,000 for a two-bedroom, two-bath house spread over 1,200 square feet to brand-new four-bedroom house for $630,000. All three of the main high schools serving Tinley Park are ranked in the top 100 in the state. And the students are closely tied to the community and often stay there after graduating.

I know nothing of Tinley Park, but New York's winner certainly gave me pause--Tonawanda, right next to Buffalo. My mother grew up in Tonawanda and my grandmother lived there until the day she died at age 96, which I guess makes it a good place to grow old. But when I think of all of New York State, it probably wouldn't be my first choice for raising kids. Then again, as a western New York native, I do like to see that part of the state get it place in the sun, in part because it doesn't get a lot of sun.

The list always stirs up a lot of controversy. Check it out and let us know where you would prefer to raise your kids.

First Lady Michelle Obama on Work-Life Balance

Lauren Young — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 18:11:32 -0500

At South High School in Denver, during a Q&A session on Nov. 16, First Lady Michelle Obama made these insightful remarks on juggling her public job as first lady with her private job as mother to Sasha and Malia.

Question: What is one of the most difficult things of being First Lady?

MRS. OBAMA: The most difficult things of being the First Lady? Wow. There are a lot of advantages. I mean, let me begin by saying that. I came into this position having absolutely no idea what to expect. But I can say that it has been an honor and a privilege to serve in this role, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. From the moment we started campaigning, the ability to travel around the country and to meet people -- whether they were voting for my husband or not -- who were open and engaged and thoughtful and caring and patriotic and loyal, you're just reminded that this is a really solid country, doing really good things.

So over the course of the campaign I got really pumped out about wanting to do my very best in whatever way for this country -- for kids, for military families, for mothers struggling. It's just, I get pumped up to try to make sure that I'm working my hardest and that I'm not taking anything for granted.

But with that, you know, comes the challenge of having a role that's very public and raising kids and making sure that my girls don't get lost in all of this -- because they're young and they didn't make this choice.

So the President and I are always balancing the role that we play in public with making sure that home is home and that we're present and accounted for, for our kids -- not as Michelle and Barack Obama, but as mom and dad. And that means that on a day like this, I leave in the morning, I come back before they go to bed. That means when they have an event it takes precedent over everything -- whether it's a school play or a soccer game -- they know if I can be there, one of us, we will be there, and we will be there not signing autographs or taking pictures, but being mom and dad. I do it by making sure that I know what my kids' homework is and that I'm asking them questions, and I know who their teachers are, and I know who their friends are, and they still feel like they have a life.

So striking that balance sometimes is tough. And because I care so much about my kids, I want to make sure that they come out of this as whole as possible. So you're always struggling with making sure that you're doing right by the country, but you're also doing right by your kids.

Holiday Shopping Tips for Busy, Budget-Minded Parents

Lauren Young — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 15:50:29 -0500

We know you’re busy, and we know you want to save money. With holiday shopping around the corner, here's a list of tips from Michelle Madhok, founder of SheFinds.com and MomFinds.com, to help you get your gifts quickly and at a savings. Because much as the kids may love them, Madhok's ideas about holiday cheer don’t always include big-box toy stores around December.

Shop Online. Only.
Avoid the holiday mayhem entirely. Schedule time with each child to cybershop – most stores will save the contents of your shopping cart for a few days, so you can revise according to your budget when all the kids are done. Kids will love the special time and the fact that they get to control the clicks, but you’ll have control over what ends up in the cart.

Pare Down Your Search
If you have some idea of what you want to buy but aren’t totally sure, Pronto is a great place to start. The shopping search engine is accurate and user-friendly, and with photos and price ranges for all the results. Start in their toys and games or baby sections, and keep refining till you have a few choices in your preferred criteria.

Subscribe, Don’t Buy
If your little ones tend to have fickle toy tastes, try giving a toy rental subscription to RentAToy or BabyPlays. They’re like Netflix for toys, and the same logic applies: They reduce the clutter that comes with an enormous toy collection, and keep things interesting with new toys when your tot tires of the current one.

Get Cash Back
A no-brainer for saving during a big shopping season: shop through a cash-back service like Bank of America’s Add It Up program, which gives Bank of America customers up to 20% cash back on purchases from participating retailers. The Bank of America program has over 300 retailers, like Land of Nod, so it might make sense to check the list before deciding where you’ll buy a given toy. You can even take advantage of double cash back offers from retailers like Apple Online Store and BestBuy.com.

Set Yourself Up For Deals
Know where you’ll do some of your shopping already? Sign up for that retailer’s e-mail newsletter list, and you’ll be the first to know about sales, spend-and-save offers, and free shipping – sometimes they’ll even throw in a coupon code. Toys R Us, Babies R Us and Target are particularly good for big brands like Fisher Price and Mattel; Giggle and FAO Schwarz have great selections of European and Eco toys.

What To Worry About When You Worry About Swine Flu

Cathy Arnst — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 21:13:09 -0500

It is the season of swine flu, and what parent out there isn't scared, even as we keep telling ourselves our concerns are overblown? At least I kept telling myself my concerns were overblown, until I met a mother last week whose 24-year-old son had just spent three weeks in hospital, receiving antibiotics intravenously, because of swine flu. This was a healthy young man with no underlying risk factors. Now I'm scared.

Should I be? According to a new study in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA), probably not, but it's not a bad idea to get my 11-year-old daughter vaccinated anyway. And if you do get the flu, be concerned if the symptoms seem to improve, and then worsen again--it could be a sign that the flu has set off pneumonia or another bacterial disease.

There have been almost 4,000 deaths from H1N1 (the virus that causes swine flu) nationwide since the epidemic started last April, according to federal estimates. That's nowhere close to the 36,000 people who die each year from standard issue seasonal flu, but the difference is that 90% of those flu victims are elderly. Swine flu appears to be far less deadly for the aged, possibly because a similar strain of virus was circulating when they were young and they built up immunity. That means that deaths in young people are disproportionately higher, but overall deaths are much, much lower.

To figure out just who gets sickest, researchers sponsored by the Calif. Department of Public Health studied statewide data on California residents who were hospitalized with H1N1 flu between April 23 and August 11, 2009. They found 1088 cases of hospitalization, and 11% of those died. Just like with standard flu, the most fatalities, 18%, were in persons aged 50 years or older. Eight children, 7% of the total, died.

Overall, 32% of the hospitalized were children younger than 18, with infants having the highest rate of hospitalization. The median age (midpoint) of the victims was 27 years, slightly younger than typically found during a flu epidemic. Here's a key point: two-thirds of those hospitalized had underlying medical conditions that put them at greater risk from the flu, such as asthma or cerebral palsy. If you are healthy, you have less to worry about.

But here's another key point--over half of those hospitalized were obese. The researchers warned that "obesity may be a newly identified risk factor for fatal pandemic 2009 influenza A(H1N1) infection and merits further study." Given that one-third of the population is obese, including 10% of children, that's a worry.

In another study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention(CDC) of 36 children who died from H1N1 from April to August, researchers found that six had no chronic health conditions. But all of the children had a bacterial infection, the most common being staphylococcus aureus, the most frequent cause of staph infections. A third of the population carries this staph bacteria, usually in their nose or on their skin. There is a particularly worrisome strain of staph called MRSA that is resistant to the most common antibiotics, and can be deadly. Because the flu causes upper respiratory damage, it can allow the staph bug to make its way into the lungs. So again, if you or your child improves, but then gets sicker, it could be a sign that a bacterial infection has taken hold and you should seek medical attention immediately.

From the latest CDC briefing, where it was announced that the virus is active throughout the nation:

We wouldn't expect this many states to have this widespread of a disease. Flu can last until May. We don't know what we will see with this virus in general. Most of the illness is in younger people. More than half the hospitalizations are in people under 25. 90% of the deaths are in people under 65. A flip-flop from what we see with seasonal flu. The pediatric deaths are high...Two-thirds of the children who died from the H1N1 virus have underlying condition that is increase their risk of this problem. The leading underlying conditions in children who have died are severe neurologic problems like cerebral palsy and muscular dystrophy and asthma in terms of contributing to the severe outcomes.

Nationwide, the CDC reports that there were almost 5,000 lab-confirmed H1N1-related hospitalizations between Aug 30 and Oct 10. Of those, 19% were children 4 and under; 25% were 5 years to 18 years; 9% were people 19 years to 24 years; 24% were 25 to 49 years; 15% were 50 to 64 years; and 7% were people 65 years and older.

There were 292 lab-confirmed H1N1 deaths reported to the CDC over the 40 day period. The breakdown: children 4 and under, 3%; 5 to 18 years, 14%; people 19 to 24 years, 7%; people 25 to 49 years, 33%; 50-64 years, 32%; and people 65 years and older, 12%. (Note: These are the cases that have been confirmed by lab tests. New estimates released by the CDC on Nov. 12, using algorithms that multiply out the lab-confirmed cases, determined that 22 million Americans have become ill with pandemic H1N1 influenza in the past six months and 3,900 have died, including 540 children).

If you want to stay on top of H1N1 developments, the CDC maintains the most comprehensive and up-to-date web site, found here.

To learn how one family dealt with swine flu, read Working Parents co-writer Anne Newman's account here. And I wrote about the safety of flu vaccines here.

Fort Hood: Talking to Your Kids About Bad News

Lauren Young — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:24:09 -0500

The horrific killings at Fort Hood last week have dominated the headlines, and it's been hard to shield my five-year-old son from the news. Even so, I wonder is it a good idea to protect your children from what's happening in the world around us? I asked Suri Roth, a former teacher and young mom to two daughters, for her thoughts. Roth is the founder of the country’s only national newspaper for kids, The Current Events.

As a parent, how do you determine if an event is age-appropriate to discuss, such as the death of a major figure?
It really depends on the child. Is the child aware of this event? In some instances these events pass right over children and they have no interest in knowing. It's important to determine if the child really wants or needs this information. It is certainly less complicated to deal as a parent on a one-to-one basis with children about a tragic event such as death. Children are most affected by these events if they had a relationship with the deceased. Some children find it comforting to know that the person or people involved not in pain anymore. I have found that with my own kids the primary concern is the "pain factor," and "can it happen to us?"

I like to draw on what Kathie Scobee Fulgham, daughter of an astronaut who died on the Space Shuttle Challenger, shared with other children whose parents had died in terrorist attacks or space disasters. Kathie describes seeing the shuttle explode over and over again on the TV screen and virtually seeing her dad dying over and over again. She said that each time brought more confusion and pain.

Today Katie shares with children of disaster victims that "the same way your brain doesn't register immediately when you break your arm," the victims don't feel the pain and don't know what is happening. I talk to my children about this concept and find it very helpful.

However, covering bad news, such as fire or terrorist attack, tends to dominate the headlines. Should we shield our children from those discussions?
We can't - in most instances, that is. I would certainly not draw attention or describe the details of events that can be frightening to children. Children pick up on what's happening around them and sense tense situations. It is best to talk to them about the situation so that they feel secure that they are getting the information from a safe, age-appropriate resource and that they don't have to look for answers on their own, or try to make sense of events on their own, which often leads to misunderstanding and unnecessary fears and anxiety.

The point is to give them the information that they need and not extraneous information that can be harmful. I often focus on what is being done to prevent a given situation from happening in the future, and what steps we are taking as a family and a nation to prevent this from reoccurring. For example, pointing out the volunteerism that took place after 9/11 gives children a sense of "we're not alone" and helps them shift their focus to positive, and in some instances courageous, actions taken by fellow Americans.

What kinds of news events spark the best conversations with your own family? Sports? Local? National?
I think it is my passion for imparting knowledge that drives these discussions in our home. It's my tone, my attitude such as: "I came across an amazing news item today...it was about such-and such," and my children are all ears! Then come the follow-up questions which lead us to explore the topic on a deeper level.

How can schools do a better job of incorporating current events into the curriculum?
In the Information Age, where we are today, current events are a crucial part of education. Textbooks are typically a few years behind and in many instances the information is outdated. If educators make an effort to tie in the news across the curriculum, learning comes alive and becomes relevant.

I can't think of a better way to spark students' interest in government than to present the headlines of what's happening in our government now. The same applies to all content areas. For example: "What is currently happening in the region being discussed in your history class?" "Are there any scientific studies being conducted in the field your science class is exploring now?" By incorporating current events in classrooms we provide our students with a foundation for lifelong learning that they can apply to their everyday lives.

What's the best way to get kids engaged in the world around them?
Tune into their natural curiosity. What are their interests? Build on them!

For more tips on talking to children about bad news, check out this article from the Portland Examiner.

The Internationalization of Halloween

Karyn McCormack — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 12:16:53 -0500

This item was written by Savita Iyer-Ahrestani. She is a freelance financial journalist who guest blogs for Working Parents.

This is my family's first Halloween in suburban USA (we moved here after four years living in Europe and Asia, prior to which we were in New York) and the one question everyone has for us is: "Did you celebrate Halloween in the other countries you lived in?"

"Yes," I say, "we did," because Halloween has been a big deal every place we have lived in or been to, including the small Spanish town of Salobrena, where we happened to be at this time last year, and where during the sacred siesta hour, the only store open was the one selling Halloween costumes.

I first celebrated Halloween 35 years ago as a second grader at the International School of Geneva, Switzerland. I remember quite clearly a class party organized by an enterprising American mother, and a rather itchy black skirt and turtleneck top my mother put on me for a witch’s costume. We bobbed for apples and I tasted candy corn for the very first time.

Thimerosal In H1N1 Vaccine: No Need To Worry

Cathy Arnst — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 12:15:09 -0500

Parents and pregnant women around the country are rightfully disturbed about the shortage of vaccine for H1N1. The nightly news is filled with stories about people lining up to get the few supplies they can find, and panicky parents are scouring their regions for the vaccine, fearful that their child might end up hooked up to a ventilator otherwise.

Nevertheless, these fears about swine flu, or even garden-variety seasonal flu, have not kept many parents from refusing to subject themselves or their child to any vaccine containing the preservative thimerosal. This despite zero evidence that there is any danger at all from the additive. Instead, there is extensive safety data that shows that the vaccine is far safer than the flu itself, and thimerosal makes it even safer:

Dr. Anthony Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, says the only danger is "a myth that has been propagated." Fauci says the real danger is not using the preservative. Thimerosal actually protects the vial that is stuck several times with a needle.

Thimerosal fear is clearly widespread. A recent CBS News poll found that 51% of Americans say they are not very likely to get the swine flu vaccine, and more than a third of parents are not likely to vaccinate their children--even though three out of four respondents viewed the H1N1 virus as a serious problem. New York State recently dropped a requirement that all health workers get the H1N1 vaccine after outcries from some who feared it might be unsafe--and these are supposedly educated health care consumers.

These unfounded fears could make a bad situation much worse. The U.S. is already suffering from a refusal to use adjuvants that could double the potency of the H1N1 vaccine, thus stretching available supplies. Adjuvants are chemical compounds, usually oil and water emulsions, that boost the human body's immune response to the vaccine's active ingredient so more doses can be made. There is 12 years of safety data behind them, and they are widely used in Europe, where there is no vaccine shortage as a result. But the fear in the U.S. of vaccine additives, and even vaccines themselves, has kept the FDA from approving any adjuvant-laced flu vaccine, because it might make the populace even more reluctant to get the shots.

Before refusing a vaccine containing thimerosal, parents should keep in mind that 36,000 people die in the U.S. every year from seasonal flu. Since April, about 1,000 people have died from swine flu, including 96 children. Deaths from the swine flu vaccine: 0. If you're worried about the vaccine, or H1N1, take the time to educate yourself about the flu, the vaccine, and the risk factors for both.
Here's some links, and excerpts:

From the surgeon general's official www.flu.gov site, dispelling myths about thimerosal:

Thimerosal is a very effective preservative that has been used since the 1930s to prevent contamination in some multi-dose vials of vaccines. There is no convincing evidence of harm caused by the low doses of thimerosal in vaccines, except for minor reactions like redness and swelling at the injection site. The 2009-H1N1 influenza vaccines that FDA has licensed will be manufactured in several formulations, including pre-filled, single-dose syringes and nasal sprayers along with multi-dose vials. Only multi-dose vials of seasonal influenza vaccine will contain thimerosal to prevent potential contamination after the vial is opened.

From the CDC's H1N1 information site:

Thimerosal is an important preservative that protects vaccines against potential microbial contamination, which may occur in opened multi-dose vials of vaccine. Such contamination could cause serious illness or death. Since seasonal influenza vaccine is produced in large quantities for annual immunization campaigns, some of the vaccine is produced in multi-dose vials, and contains thimerosal to safeguard against possible contamination of the vial once it is opened. Three leading federal agencies (CDC, FDA, and NIH) have reviewed the published research on thimerosal and found it to be a safe product to use in vaccines. Three independent organizations [The National Academy of Sciences’ Institute of Medicine, Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices (ACIP), and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP)] reviewed the published research and also found thimerosal to be a safe product to use in vaccines. The scientific community supports the use of thimerosal in influenza vaccines.

I admit to being on a bit of a crusade against the anti-vaccine forces. Here's a link to an earlier post (some might say rant) of mine on the issue.For a well-researched article dissecting the anti-vaccine hysteria, read Wired's lastest cover story, "An Epidemic of Fear: How Panicked Parents Skipping Shots Endangers Us All" (better, yet, buy the magazine, the whole package is very good).If you want some really detailed insight into the safety and effectiveness of flu vaccines from someone with the credentials to know, head over to the excellent blog Science-Based Medicine and read Flu Vaccine Efficacy by Dr. Mark Crislip, an infectious disease specialist in Portland, Oregon.

Kids Watch A Day of TV Each Week

Lauren Young — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 11:21:50 -0500

No wonder they call it the boob tube.

Children spend more than an entire day in front of the television each week. According to research from media tracking firm Nielsen, television viewing among children is now at an eight-year high.

Kids aged 2-5 now spend more than 32 hours a week on average in front of a TV screen. The older segment of that group (ages 6-11) spend a little less time, about 28 hours per week watching TV, due in part that they are more likely to be attending school for longer hours.

Mea culpa. As a working parent, I can attest that I have used the television as a babysitter when I need to get work done. In fact, right before I read about this study, I actually made mental note to tape (a.k.a. Tivo) a show my son has been bugging me to watch because I have an evening conference call next week. Incidentally, Nielsen says kids are watching taped shows more often.

I know I'm not alone. Many of my friends and coworkers admit that they use TV to keep their kids entertained—and, most important—quiet while they try to answer emails, talk to their customers and colleagues, write reports, and whatever else needs to be done when they are out of the office.

But I do worry about my son's consumption of television, especially when he starts humming the theme song from Jeopardy, or suggesting vacation locations. "Call your travel agent," he has told me several times. (Thankfully, he hasn't recommended Viagra yet.)

Do you use the television as a babysitter to help you get the work done? Do you feel guilty about it? Also, if anyone has good ideas to keep kids engaged and quiet that do not involve a DVD when work calls, please let me know.

The Office: Still A Man's World?

Cathy Arnst — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 09:04:17 -0500

A bit of a brouhaha erupted recently over basketball games at the White House. Seems President Barack Obama likes to unwind over a friendly game of basketball, and invites a rotating squad of high-level Washington power brokers to join him on the White House court. All of them, of course, are men, a growing point of contention in the feminist blogosphere.

I can already hear the groans from many readers, who likely think this is just a bunch of angry women getting their knickers in a twist over some minor male/female difference. I might have thought the same, except for an image that stopped me short while reading a front page story in the New York Times about the controversy, headlined "Man's World At White House? No Harm, No Foul, Aides Say."

First of all, that headline is a tad misleading. It is the president's male aides who see "no harm, no foul." Five women who work in the White House, all of whom asked for anonymity because of concerns of appearing "publicly critical" (i.e., not good girls?) responded with eye rolls and complaints when asked about the sports-heavy atmosphere in the White House. But what I found most disturbing was the mention of an off-the-record meeting that White House communications director Anita Dunn recently hosted for women reporters--over chocolate chip and oatmeal cookies!!!

Well isn't that sweet? The gals got together over cookies--homemade, I hope, by one of the attendees--while the guys solved the world's problems on the playing field.

I'm particularly sensitive to this issue because I have no interest in professional sports. This failure on my part has often left me looking on with a weak smile while the editors I've worked for throughout my career (virtually all men) talked about last night's game. I despise football (the remnants of growing up in a football-mad small town), I couldn't care less about March Madness, and though I do pay slight attention to the Red Sox, I am not all that interested in the World Series when they aren't in it. Nor do I know the first thing about tennis or golf. Has that hurt my career? Who knows? I'm guessing that there are plenty of work environments where it would.

I realize that women have come a long, long way over the last 50 years, as well-documented in the excellent new book When Everything Changed: The Amazing Journey of American Women from 1960 To the Present, by New York Times columnist Gail Collins. From her publisher:

The interviews with women who have lived through these transformative years include an advertising executive in the 60s who was not allowed to attend board meetings that took place in the all-male dining room; and an airline stewardess who remembered being required to bend over to light her passengers' cigars on the men-only 'Executive Flight' from New York to Chicago. We, too, may have forgotten the enormous strides made by women since 1960--and the rare setbacks. "Hell yes, we have a quota [7%]" said a medical school dean in 1961. "We do keep women out, when we can." At a pre-graduation party at Barnard College, "they handed corsages to the girls who were engaged and lemons to those who weren't." In 1960, two-thirds of women 18-60 surveyed by Gallup didn't approve of the idea of a female president. Until 1972, no woman ran in the Boston Marathon, the year when Title IX passed, requiring parity for boys and girls in school athletic programs (and also the year after Nixon vetoed the childcare legislation passed by congress).

All of that sounds like ancient history now. It's hard to believe that just a few decades ago women weren't allowed to have a credit card or mortgage in their own name, much less hold an executive position or run for president. But it's not all that ancient. Women still earn 78 cents for every dollar earned by men in similar jobs, with similar levels of education and experience. In business, politics, journalism and law women occupy only 20% of leadership positions (and much lower in Fortune 500 firms), despite making up 48% of the workforce. I don't know if playing basketball with the residents of the executive suite would change any of that. But it might be nice to be invited. Or have the men join us for cookies.

I'd love to hear from women, and men, out there in the working world: Is facility with a ball, or knowledge of last night's scores, an important career booster in your office?

How Corporate America Can Support Workers in a Recession

Lauren Young — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 14:59:22 -0500

We all know times are tough. What, if anything, is Corporate America doing to support its overworked and underpaid workers—especially Working Parents—these days? I asked Donna Klein, executive chair and president at Corporate Voices for Working Families, for her thoughts.

You say that the U.S. has failed working families because public and corporate policies do not mirror their needs. What countries do a good job of promoting work and family issues?
This is a complicated question. Doing a “good job” with work and family policies is a function of the demographics, culture, traditions and forms of government in a particular country. That being said, there is some consensus around the Scandinavian countries as role models for good working family practices. Scandinavian countries encourage both men and women to pursue careers by providing programs and policies (family leave, dependent care support, and some financial support) that help families balance both jobs and parenting.

Also, some European countries have progressive programs. France, Germany, Belgium have “father friendly” programs and policies that encourage and support men to engage in careers while maintaining full engagement with their roles and responsibilities as fathers.

Unfortunately, the Untied States is far, far behind these nations.

Which companies in Corporate America today set the "gold” standard for programs to promote work and families?
Indeed, there are many U.S. corporations that are progressive in their support of working families. Many of the Corporate Voices for Working Families partner companies are among this elite group. Companies like Accenture (ACN), PNC (PNC), Merck (MRK), Johnson & Johnson (JNJ), Baxter (BAX), JPMorgan (JPM), Ernst & Young and Allstate (ALL) are among the best of them.

Working Mother magazine annually highlights the 100 Best Companies for Working Mothers. And now to level the playing field between professional employee support and hourly employee support, Working Mother, in partnership with Corporate Voices, is shining the light on those companies who employ predominately hourly workers, with the same opportunity to brand their workforce supports for hourly working families.

The first edition of Best Companies for Hourly Workers will be published in Working Mother magazine in the spring 2010. The strategy is to use the competitive mentality of corporations to brand and encourage advancement of these supports for hourly workers who have been somewhat overlooked in the past.

Can you talk about any innovative/unusual/successful programs?
There are many examples of these “best-practice” programs occurring in the field of work and family balance. Flexibility continues to lead the way. Available for many years for professional employees only, flexible work opportunities are now being offered by many progressive companies to their hourly employees.

Companies like Marriott (MAR) and PNC are experimenting with flexibility for hourly employees and realizing returns on investment equal to those evidenced by flexibility offerings to their professional staffs.

Companies are even piloting workplace lactation support for hourly employees. Female labor now represents 50% of the American workforce and that represents permanent and fundamental change. We are dependent on female labor in the 21st century workplace and that will drive even greater innovation in coming years.

Corporate Voices, by the way, would be most interested in feedback from companies about their innovative, unusual and successful programs. We know from experience that these best-practice models are drivers of change involving public and corporate policy. And we would welcome the opportunity to engage those companies in concert with our current corporate partners that really are leaders in designing and implementing programs aimed at work and family balance and improving the lives of working families.

Why is the conversation about workplace flexibility focused on professional workers?
Flexibility has been focused primarily on professional/management employees to date, because of two primary reasons. First, U.S. labor law (FLSA) does not apply to professional employees, so tracking hours worked is not required. Employers can ask professionals to work as few or as many hours as they deem necessary, as well as whatever work schedule they feel appropriate.

Secondly, the cost of professional turnover, which resulted from rigid, inflexible scheduling of hours, began to increase dramatically as productivity gains began to be associated with longer hours rather than more efficient processes. Companies who demanded long hours with no flexibility began to lose their best talent.

The cost of that turnover, including recruiting, training, and on-boarding new hires, was time consuming, which means costly. In many industries, the cost of replacing a fully functioning employee was estimated to be as much as 2-6 times that employee’s annual salary. Keeping talent became a key management objective. Offering flexibility, a fairly cost neutral solution, kept professionals loyal, on the job and actually increased engagement scores.

By contrast, why aren’t there more flexible work options for hourly workers?
As I mentioned previously, labor laws require tracking and recording hours worked. A company had to employ some mechanized system to do that, like clock cards, or they verified hours worked by observation. And unfortunately, to many managers, seeing is believing. It has been perceived to be too difficult to implement flexibility for hourly employees.

Additionally, in an economy that had an overabundance of qualified workers, the replacement of an hourly worker was perceived to be easy. Hourly workers were perceived to be pretty much undifferentiated – the old industrial model.

But in today’s world, with the skills gap widening and employers in all industries agreeing that there is a shortage of qualified workers, both hourly and professional, I think we are poised to see the rapid decline of those antiquated management beliefs. Business is now more knowledgeable about what constitutes a productive employee.

Do you think the Motherhood Penalty exists in Corporate America? Why or why not?
Unfortunately, I do think the motherhood penalty exists. One popular Sunday night drama recently and dramatically brought the discussion into the forefront when one of the “desperate housewives” denied her pregnancy to retain a promotion she had been granted. But we don’t need to see evidence in the popular media to know it exists.

Many aspects of career track jobs penalize motherhood – not intentionally but because of traditional thinking about what it takes to succeed (based on the prevalence of male models in the past). Today, in the best of cases if you are lucky enough to have paid maternity leave, it is still only a few companies that will hold “your” job open until you return.

FMLA requires that “a” job be available when you return. The time it takes to develop credentials in a new position inadvertently delays the advancement of women. And there are many less obvious reasons why mothers are penalized. Perceptions of loyalty, ability to travel, reliability on the job, while not policy driven, remain unspoken and many times unrecognized barriers.

The recession is having a huge impact on the physical, mental and fiscal health of American workers. How are employers helping workers weather the storm? Can you share some best practices?
The economy has indeed taken a toll. Employees who have retained their jobs are extremely insecure and job stress is becoming unmanageable. Many times that stress is a function of work overload accompanied by guilt at being retained when close co-workers have been dismissed. Companies that recognize and solve for this aftereffect are indeed among the best places to work.

But as recently reported by the Families and Work Institute, we can point to 80% retention of flexible work practices by those firms that have them, and a 18% increase in the companies that are offering them. Additionally we are seeing more workforce support for those retained, and outplacement services for those being dismissed including career counseling, retaining in job search skills and of course EAP services which are being proactively offered to workers and their family members.

Parenting 101: How to Be a Better Boss at Work and Home

Lauren Young — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 10:08:53 -0500

This post was written by Shari Storm, author of Motherhood is the New MBA: Using Your Parenting Skills to be a Better Boss.

This economy is throwing new challenges and new surprises at us almost daily. Our companies will have a better change at weathering this storm if we minimize unnecessary inter-office bickering, maintain a tone of control and reduce stress-causing behavior.

Here are three tips for being a better manager, plucked straight from the pages of a parenting handbook.

1. Create a sense of family:

Have you ever noticed how a parent scolds a child when they are fighting with their siblings?

“Don’t hit your sister!” or “Don’t tease your brother.”

Parents use family position instead of given names when barking these commands. Why? I think the stronger message is, “We are a family and that is not how you treat your family.”

Throughout the ages, healthy families that stick together have a better chance of survival for the individuals in the family. Good parents understand this, if even on an instinctual level, and shape their words to instill the message, “Be good to your family.”

As a manager, it’s tempting to create empires. Nothing bonds a team quicker than an “us against them” mentality. Whether it’s back office against frontline, marketing against finance, or employees against management, it’s easy to build small tribes within a bigger organization. It’s easy, but it’s not always best for your credit union.

Just like fighting with your siblings is bad for the family, interdepartmental bickering is bad for your company. It is particularly dangerous for us right now. Squabbling is time consuming, resource draining and morale dampening. If we are going to survive this economy we have to do a lot of things well and one of them, simple as it may sound, is get along.

2. Keep Up Your Game Face:

Parents understand how strongly their emotions set the tone for their children. One mother I interviewed for my book described the emotional ups and downs of her teenage daughter. “I just tell myself that it is my responsibility to stay off the emotional rollercoaster. I need to keep my feet firmly on the ground for her sake.”

So many people I have talked to on my book tour lament how crazy their jobs have gotten. One man said to me, “My boss is under so much stress and she is taking it out on all of us. It makes everything that much harder.”

One of the women I interviewed for my book, Jill Vicente of Seattle Metropolitan Credit Union in Seattle, had this to say, “I look to my boss to be the emotional constant and I try to do the same with my employees. I need to stay grounded and show them how a leader acts in stressful situations.”

It’s more important than ever before to avoid the emotional rollercoaster. As managers, we need to be direct and clear with our employees on our expectations, however, we also need to steer clear of interpersonal meltdowns. They only harm moral and create chaos.

3. Hold the Line on Tantrums:

Bosses aren’t the only ones losing their cool under pressure – so are employees. As salaries are frozen or reduced, perks diminished and teams grow leaner, employees are prone to showing their frustrations through disruptive and counterproductive behavior.

If you have an employee who is throwing an adult size tantrum, deal with it immediately.

Suzie Kellett, who has worked for People and Time Magazine as well as running film offices in Chicago and Washington, sums it up nicely, “When my quadruplets were growing up, I never let them make a fuss in public places. In the film business, I held production teams to the same expectations. If someone was acting up, I would take them aside and tell them, ‘Settle down. This behavior is not acceptable.’ “

Never underestimate what a quick ‘can I see you in the hall?’ can do when an employee is being sarcastic and acting improperly in a meeting. The combination of a change of scenery plus stern words can act as quickly on an employee as it does on your kids.

There are always going to be office politics, stressful outbursts and uncooperative employees, however, it is your duty as a manager to expertly guide your staff through these landmines, particularly when times are tough.

Shari Storm is a VP and CMO for Verity Credit Union in Seattle, Washington. She is the author of Motherhood is the New MBA: Using Your Parenting Skills to be a Better Boss. To find out more about Shari Storm, visit her website.

Exercise in the Time of Flu

Lourdes Lee Valeriano — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 13:53:07 -0500

This fall I am particularly keen on exercise. My 15-daughter joined the track team, and in a few short weeks I can see the transformation—in her energy, in her strength, and in her carriage. As for me, exercise has not only eased an irksome hip, but it also has helped keep me sane. Awake before dawn and can’t get back to sleep? Go to a 6:15 Bikram yoga class.

But last week a post in The New York Times’ Well blog gave me pause. It reported on two recent experiments that measured how different exercise levels affected mice’s resistance to the flu virus. The blog said “the bulk of the new research, including the mouse studies mentioned, reinforce a theory that physiologists advanced some years ago, about what they call ‘a J-shaped curve’ involving exercise and immunity.” It quoted Mary P. Miles, an associate professor of exercise sciences at Montana State University, as saying that in this model, the risk both of catching a cold or the flu and of having a particularly severe form of the infection “drop if you exercise moderately.” But the risk both of catching an illness and of becoming especially sick when you do “jumps right back up,” she says, if you exercise intensely or for a prolonged period, surpassing the risks even among the sedentary.

And what constitutes intense exercise? Inquiring moms and dads with kids in school sports want to know, especially in this season of swine flu. Most researchers “define it as a workout or race of an hour or more during which your heart rate and respiration soar and you feel as though you’re working hard,” the post said.

That seems to cover a broad range of activities and levels of exertion—from preparing for a marathon to sweating 1 ½ hours in a room heated to 105 F doing a regimen of 26 postures (in other words, a Bikram yoga class). As I forwarded the blog to a friend who plans to run the New York Marathon in two weeks, I wondered whether my daughter—who runs more than an hour after school most days—and I are also in danger of sabotaging our immune systems with too much exercise.

When I posed the question to Professor Miles, she said most studies have focused on adults. Not much research has been done on adolescent athletes—or on Bikram yoga practitioners, for that matter—and she’s not comfortable extrapolating. “The one thing that I would say is that if a person seems to be getting sick frequently, then exercise volume might be a factor to consider,” she said. That’s one way to tell whether just doing it can be doing too much.

Banning Smart Kids From Wall Street

Cathy Arnst — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 08:40:43 -0500

Calvin Trillin, one of my favorite writers, has come up with perhaps the most spot-on analysis yet of the causes behind the recession. His New York Times Op-Ed piece, Wall Street Smarts, suggests that the roots of the financial meltdown go back to when the smartest kids in class stopped choosing careers in science, math and engineering, as they did in the 1960s and 1970s, and started choosing finance instead.

The theory is related by an imaginary investor that Trillin meets in a bar, a guy who was in college in the 1960s, and watched everything change in the 1980s:

Two things happened. One is that the amount of money that could be made on Wall Street with hedge fund and private equity operations became just mind-blowing. At the same time, college was getting so expensive that people from reasonably prosperous families were graduating with huge debts. So even the smart guys went to Wall Street, maybe telling themselves that in a few years they’d have so much money they could then become professors or legal-services lawyers or whatever they’d wanted to be in the first place. That’s when you started reading stories about the percentage of the graduating class of Harvard College who planned to go into the financial industry or go to business school so they could then go into the financial industry. That’s when you started reading about these geniuses from M.I.T. and Caltech who instead of going to graduate school in physics went to Wall Street to calculate arbitrage odds.

As a result, says the guy in the bar, the smart kids started inventing things like "derivatives" and "credit default swaps" that those of average intelligence could never have come up with. Everyone got filthy rich as a result, and no one bothered to figure out how to police these instruments of easy money.

Sounds as reasonable as any other explanation out there, perhaps more so. And it makes me wonder--will the smart kids continue to enter finance, now that its reputation has been besmirched? Judging by the size of the recent Goldman Sachs bonuses ($6.7 billion, more than half a million per employee), Wall Street is still the best place to get really really rich. The nation's manufacturing base, meanwhile, just keeps withering away. As BusinessWeek Writer Pete Engardio recently wrote in Can The Future Be Built In America?:

The good news is that the U.S. is at or near the cutting edge in most of the emerging product areas. Indeed, the new wave of high-tech devices hitting the market is the payoff from billions of dollars in taxpayer-funded research at federal and university science labs stretching back to the 1960s, when the applications were but glimmers in the eyes of futurists. Now the bad news: Unless the U.S. can magically resurrect its manufacturing base, the good-paying jobs from these breakthroughs will be offshore.

So if your kid is one of the smartest in the class, what career would you like him or her to choose? Should they follow their dreams, or follow the money? And what if their dream is to make Goldman Sachs-style bonuses? Can they land on Wall Street and still maintain some of those old-fashioned values that used to keep greed at bay? Or can they be lured back to the sciences, despite the (relatively) paltry pay, in order to make the U.S. a world leader in producing goods, not services, again? In 20 years, how will their choices shape the nation and the economy?